let me preface by saying i am not, nor have i ever been partial to reading run-on paragraph verses. i can respect the prose but its just not my personal preference.
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Silk pillows slick as my black shirt.
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Quote:
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punch Mona Lisa in the cunt to finish the painting.
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Quote:
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Make you blush. Suck your cunt til you do splits. Brush my teeth, then on to a new bitch. Deuces. I'm in a rush.
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last little tidbit was nicely paced as well.
all in all - this was a cool bit of fun. felt like an actual freestyle you would get faced with the homies and spit, brings back fond memories actually
that being said this structure is clearly not natural to you. the main thing that irked me about your usage of the prose was how inorganic it felt. a little too abrupt in places and threw your rhythm off for me. I'm sure others will disagree
hope to see another installment soon,
thanks
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