[King Ra.]

NO SHOW LOVE

Once again, dedicating the time to give those no show verses love. Because we all know your opponents were scared. Yeah... SCARED.


"Hall of the Slain" by Innovator


This fell way short of the 50 lines that Vator stated he was going to drop at check in, but then again, it'd had been a waste being that he ended up being no showed. Nonetheless let's check out his piece & see what he put together.

“With Glory surely ahead
The winds filled with the scent of home
Id rather be here instead, war is never out grown
Calm sea’s is all I see…searching for that storm”

Off bat when I read this opening, I immediately felt that poetic vibe. What makes this read so well is the rhyme scheme, which transitioned smoothly. If you didn't peep his match up thread, the picture was of a ship in the ocean heading towards a giant dragon. This introduction gives us a bit of taste of what this story will tell.

The dragon age disintegrates all
That has been and regenerates none
Prolific lit tongue integrates rhetoric
In the faces of our sons, now pessimists ‘
From the fear of all out pestilence.
So they cower the cowards sour at the
Site of the beast

But we must defend……

I don't know if this is some sort of new trend, as Nigma also had a poetic-like verse this week, but this short line format seems like a coming trend. Once again, the scheme is pretty solid, to be able to keep from losing the reader. This almost reads like the opening section, giving us a tiny bit more detail. The only knock I really have is there isn't enough really revealed here to begin drawing me in, would have been nice if more lines were added.

She’s a feet, a monument of a task
With said fact we march east
To kill the scaly hag
A steady wind and sturdy boat
A ready sword and lumpy throat
Nerves itching from under the skin
Wars inching closer, its wonder is sin
To the pits we march and death steps aside
We tip toe in the mush, almost burning alive
Up the river bend and through the flames

the dragon is set to play its reindeer games

Here is where the story comes into clearer view. Imagery is somewhat lacking. It's very descriptive which is the highlight of this piece, but the image wasn't really incorporated to it's fullest capacity. The rhyme scheme has been solid throughout & Vator does a great job with descriptions. This piece could have certainly used more lines & a some creativity, but then again, he could have struggled thinking of a story with the image given as did other battlers had during the week. All in all, a nice piece that could use a bit more content, imagery & some creative storytelling. I'm sure Vator is looking to step it up a notch this week.



"o.D." by Frank


They say we die twice... Once when the breathe leaves our body and once when the last person we know says our name.

Close your eyes and feel that fucking rush that everybody's talking about...
Yeah it's a ten dollar high but I got these hundred million dollar coffins picked out -
You ever been cordially invited to a coroners couch???
Sat across from somebody that-had-that-look like they about ta snap?
& everybody laughs and the tension cracks like A lumberjack axe sawing in half, hogs in the back,
in the back of the torturers house....?
You ever walk past morgues in your town with a sword & a smile,
pacing back and forth with a frown?
Waiting for the first person to turn the corner and BLOAH!!!!!!
You ever drove around with a corpse in your porsche with your top down listening to Pac while
The law puts strips down and you spin out - get out - and POP!POW!
Your pulse is now... Wow............
187 beats per second...........
You're having a cow - now settle down, I'm going to grab a fork and a towel -
Gorge on the scowl - black out. get lost and then found
Absorb enormous amounts of Xylazine from the horses carroll
You ever looked into-a scorners eyes with adoring moral ,
And saw evil forming inside their corneas cloud?
-You ever saw a child drawing chalk around-yellow tape enforcing a crowd?
jump roping in front of the hounds in the playground on Dr. Kevorkians grounds?
You ever hung upside down off the cross while the warden was bound -
Took a tour of New York's poor in impound -
Smell hell - let the sulfur surround - open the door to it's gown -
We're in the underbelly of the sword swallowers mouth being coerced in it's dose;
This is a recording from the walkie-talkies accounts; endorsing your oust
I've over dosed; Holy ghost; launched to a trounce...
At the gate way, where, drugs get you across unannounced.

If this battle went down, who knows how it would've turned out, but Frank took the no show win, and left us with a bit of a taste of a story this week. His piece centers around a drug experience & he uses many different elements to describe it. The first thing I was impressed with was the rhyme scheme. I've been seeing a lot of dope rhyme schemes which really bring out the quality of pieces. Frank's was very nice, great transitions. Imagery was also a plus. Storytelling wise, this had potential, compared to the picture that this was written to, I was hoping for a classic Frank story line, but this was more of a conceptual approach taken. Nonetheless, a solid written piece by one of the better writers in this league.



"Chapter 8: Molly's Intervention" by King Keith

"To supress one's mind, the thinker must first divide between what's real & a lie. Space & time, matrix wide where spaceships hide."- Dr. Phillip Colbott, The Power of a Child's Imagination, chap. 1, pg. 3.


PART I. The Analysis.

There is a fine line between-
fiction & truth. Just picture the roots.
A tight rope of nostalgia from missing the days of your youth.
Must be the reasoning behind her oath of silence, ill feelings removed.
Or the dead chill in the air which consumed all that stood in the room.
It's science renewed. Defiance construed. With bias imbued
within the bounds of a liars cocoon tied to a higher pursuit.
S'why the great minds take risk & aspire to prove,
that anything is possible when you set fire to rules.
We acquired the tools then hired some fools, with hopes of unlocking a mystery.
One which breached the bounds of a psychics reach mentally
& if recorded, would make every bit of history splendidly.
We've searched endlessly & now that day is finally here,
opened the door to her room-
....... & gazed upon a wondrous masterpiece meshed with our greatest fear.

this week King dropped a dope verse only to be no showed. no doubt a great piece that deserves some praise as well as constructive criticism..so lets begin. first off this starts off a bit choppy with the flow and the wording in some lines lended to that fact. but towards the end of this first part the flow and wording piccked up and the story actually started to come together...first half of this wwas a bit abstract..wrong word, no real direction. the last 6 lines if this was outstanding story telling with great mechanics to get that dope story across. so far so good folks.

PART II. The Occurrence.


Molly stood at the center infused with a luminous energy.
A vast mass of water stretched out far beyond, a beautiful, pleasant scene.
The city stood in a distance as if afloat with the clouds,
the heavens opened up & the sun shined, then Molly turned around.
"Are you pleased, Doctor?-
.... who could have dreamed or authored such a dazzling display,
a resounding visual of an imagination conveyed & a realistic image portrayed.
"I am pleased, Molly. You've been a very good girl today.
The world shall be amazed at this discovery"-.... but then a sudden change.
The waves began to rage. The city swayed.
The sky darkened into a hue of bluish gray.... a ghoulish haze.
"Doctor I refuse to stay, you promised to set me free.
You said I'd see my parents again- you're a liar & a thief.
I don't care what you think, nor what you believe.
You will never use me again & this world will not be able to see."
What we originally deemed as the sun was most certainly not.
Because the temperature in the room rose til it got scorching hot.
My staff caught fire, running amock & before they started to rot,
I watched Molly ascend to the heavens-
.... a child's mind can be as vast as a barren desert
& as dangerous as an archangel wielding a weapon.

the flow continues to improve here. you go in with this part lol the scene seems to be coming together nice and as i was reading this the imagery become so much clearer. i pictured a young girl placing her hopes on a person(in this case dr colbott) who promised her freedom from her anguish and pain..and when she gets to the edge of serinity she gets pulled back and returns with anger. reminds me of jean grey's story tbh. overall this was some fire man. at first i wasnt really feeling the direction but you managed to bring it together very nicely man...when i got to the end i honestly said to my self...Ha!, that was a dope ending lol...could of used a stronger opening sequence but other than that..this was a dope verse. imho its open for a continuation....

OPEN MIC FEATURE #2


"ARTEMIS ROADKILL" written by dead man

new conviction, noose affliction, hang me to pass
euphemism - true religion, related at last
neutralism, view the prism, stop. find your description
find agreement, peer reviews, now it's science to children
objectivity and symbolism. divided conditions
numbers represent a thirst for quantifiable wisdom
moral fiber and fiction - imagination's faithful regrets
ACT like you have a future while you're taking the test.
SAT upon your chair, where darkness carefully crept -
theres no blanket or breast that can replicate the safety of death
aquarius wept a water-world Atlanticus prime
showed my face at Sunday mass and watched a pastor resign
it's not passionate drive. or maybe that's all that it is,
coughing charcoal arteries and carcinogens
while roadkill rots and fertilizes, Artemis lives
twin dragon arson persists. firefights, Apolloan myths
spit on your gravestone to prove a zombie exists
but he's never seen a coffin or crypt.


what the readers are saying....


cakecakecake- [i]"Readers more familiar with the myths might enjoy this even more than I did, but even in the portions where the message was a bit muddy for me I still enjoyed the form. Good stUff, fer sure."

Split- "what really rings a bell for me is the dimly lit metaphors branching out from the heart of the verse into abstract aspects of being human... the way you sidestepped the artificial feel of indirect concepts with authentic false memories/ actual memories that somehow make readers feel nostalgic.

Genocide- "Whole piece was flooded with subtle metaphors, very dope way to say something and then define it suddenly and shortly thereafter with a couple different words. Your definitely one of the masters of this particular technique."



A Word With The King

We have some new additions to the league. In this edition of 'A Word With the King', I will break down these new additions which further enhances this league even more.

Introducing.... The Awards.

Yes, at the end of this season, as with the end of future seasons, awards will be given out & kept on record. I will be looking to have a special sub forum added for record keeping but that's down the road. Let's review the awards which will be given out.

AOWL Topical Champion (given to the winner of the end of season tournament between the Titanium conference champion & the Platinum conference champion)

AOWL MVW (given to the leagues Most Valuable Writer)

AOWL MIV (given to the leagues Most Improved Writer)

AOWL BOTY (given to the leagues chosen Battle of the Year)

AOWL VOTY (given to the leagues chosen Verse of the Year)

AOWL Titanium Conference Champion (given to the winner of the Titanium Conference tournament bracket winner)

AOWL Platinum Conference Champion (given to the winner of the Platinum Conference tournament bracket winner)

AOWL Regular Season Champion (given to the regular season's number one ranked writer)

AOWL Voters Recognition Award (given to those who dedicate the time to place votes in battles)


There is another change to the AOWL & that is in reference to champion & contender match ups:

Being that there are two conferences, champion & contendership matches will always pit the top ranked Titanium conference member against the top ranked Platinum conference member in title matches & the second ranked in both conferences in contender matches.
(this is subject to change any time during the season, depending on how things work out.)

In the event that activity seems to dip, the format will change. Until then if it ever happens, this system will be implemented. This will give every battler an opportunity to get a title shot. But of course, winning is everything. No show wins won't jump you up the ladder as fast as a non-no show win would. Also, the strength of your opponent plays a major part in your ranking. It's not all about your record! No shows & losses are a negative impact to your overall standing!!!


Also, be on the lookout for different topical challenges throughout the rest of the season. Every writer will be challenged & you never know what lies ahead in your road to be crowned the AOWL Topical Champion.