Quote:
Originally Posted by Certain
The rat sneaks up from behind, climbs stealthily up the back of your Ecko sand-blasted carpenter jeans, goes inside your South Pole winter coat but hangs from the inside of the coat so that its back is to your back and you don't feel its tiny claws, then climbs up to your neck and waits comfortably on the fur-lined hood of your jacket. It blends in with the color, which originally was white but now is dirty and brown. Right as you turn a corner, you run into the muggers. As you prepare to fight seven 6-4 and taller armed black men, the rat jumps off your jacket hood and into your left eye, clawing them out as the seven 6-4 and taller armed black men run away in fear. The rat eats through your left eye and into your brain. It devours just enough of your brain to prevent you from further flailing, then connects itself to your brain stem so that you become a rat-operated humanoid body and professional battle rapper.
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ya know I fucks with this scenario but there's a couple problems: a) I don't wear southpole coats, just jeans an the occasional shirt once a year (for all the talk, y'all only seen me in southpole twice since 2008 lol), an b) while I appreciate the sentiment of me letting my white jacket get so dirty it turns brown, I don't wear white jacket specifically for that reason (everybody hates when ur whites aren't as bright as they used to be)...
as for the muggers, I have no doubt they would run, but it would probably have more to do with my totally awesome kung fu skills that wise ways is so ridiculously jealous of...the only other discrepancy in ur story is that being a ninja I have cat like reflexes...as we all know, cats are a mouse/rat worst enemy; thus, I would detect the rat tryna sneak up behind me an challenge it to meet me at one of several locations in NYC to shoot the fair one...once it agreed, I would get on my hush swag an post on NC's thirty times about how I was "at the spot waiting pussy" while in reality I was at home tweezing my eyebrows...eventually the rat would get tired of running to various bodegas across jamaica queens an go bite aero instead...