nigma - great message. definitely straightforward, not a played out subject at all. i enjoyed the whole piece. i think it's most weak point is the rhyme in the last bar. achievements - species.. all i really have there is the ie sound, and they sound a bit different from one another when spoken, in my dialect. sall good though i'm not really voting on that.
favorite lines
It's for the ladies with the hardest jobs who paid the lowest
Children raised, it's like a garden, always tame and growing
For every cradle, every pardon, every praise they throw you
least favorite moment..
",wow!"
mordycai - first and foremost, i'm not sure how you intended this to be read. i just feel like the fourth line could have been shortened. and "getting elected," i truly didn't understand. you rhyme very well. but throughout your entire piece, i was consistently perturbed. nothing against you, i'm just trying to figure it out while i'm typing. looking deeper..i feel like i want more of a coherent undertone from this piece. that's what i think would have really made it pop. the spaces were not necessary. your flow did it for you. wound down to a close. good layout. i think it's actually very good at first glance. you just hopped around a lot. lines like this..
So in return, I expect the best out of what's not been given to me
were a little touch to digest, and upon further inspection.. i think you just need to focus into a subject explanation,making a point with an entire piece. i just feel like there was a lot of filler.
/v mordycai - he out rhymed his opponent. plain and simple. i almost voted for nigma though. it's a close call imo.
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