[Certain]

Nigma: OK, I'm really straining here on how this verse relates to the topic. OK, here's the best I've got: You wrote a verse dedicated to homemakers with the idea being that old women who have fallen in love with the soil that we root our society in don't get enough credit. That's a stretch, and it's not made clear. Your verse was OK aside from the lack of topical relevance. Your rhyme schemes were a bit tough to pick up in this piece again, so I am guessing you're mostly just rusty since that was a strength for you two or three months ago when you last were around regularly. At around the midpoint, the writing got a little more natural and better. I don't know what ever topic was this week, but maybe you wrote to something other than your own?

Mordycai: You need to improve your rhyming a lot in order to compete regularly at a site of this caliber. These rhymes were very simplistic, some of the easiest sounds to go off of and slanted anyway. But the bigger issue probably is completing thoughts. You startedl quite a few, then skipped to something else entirely. As a result, in a topical where you probably needed to address your thoughts more directly, you instead seemed scattershot and only half-invested. Back off the internal rhyming a little in favor of stronger end rhymes because all that internal rhyming with such flimsy rhymes isn't going to impress anyone or sound very good. If you deliver stronger end rhymes, you'll have the opportunity to put content at a higher priority and still deliver good cadence and flow, which this verse had at times but lacked at others. You definitely show potential and seem, at least for now, willing to learn. There are a lot of people here who can show you and teach you different elements if you keep an open mind. As an aside, I think you came too late to reach the playoffs in this season, but after the playoffs, there will be an open tournament. Anyway, in this battle, you won because you addressed the topic. Your take on it, about mortality, was worth pursuing even if your execution was weak.

Vote: Mordycai