[Adonis]

Breathe -honesty brotha....I wasn't really feeling this one. Solid use of given topic, but execution was offf. Thhe rhymes are there, but I get the feeling that is your main focus. It seemed rrhyme/scheme trumped storrry line or even proper sentence. Eg. "Shocks sting loud". I don't think that's ennglish,, but it flowed well. There are other instances but I won't pull anythig else. I woldve liked more depth to the storry line and actually less multies in this rare case.

Zen - hmmm...I enjoyed the end product. 1. Don't mention ho good a verse will be in the begining cuz it makes me look for a reason to call bluff. 2. I call bluff. There were some good bars and meh bars, the transitions were criisp though, which is tough. I don't like the use of topic, but I enjoyed the humor in the end as well the execution of your topic.


This is a very tough vote, both I honestly think fell a bit short for what they were going for. One had. Multie galor with a decent topic but because of the heavy rhyme there were an ample amount of one liners that were. Simply off pputting. The other verse didn't go heavy rhyme scheme, or crazy topic, didn't really go left field at all which is abnormal for zen, instead went simple and clean cut.


In the end I enjoyed the emotion and even humor over the indian/white man war. Iironically, I am voting because. I prefered buddhas flow over breath, because the storys and takes were awash imo.


Close bout

Vote/buddah