Netcees - View Single Post - Plot vs. Unfukwitable

King Ra. · 11-25-2013, 09:19 AM

@Unfukwitable, the opener was a good start. I've seen the Abe/Booth concept done before but connecting it personally gave it an added boost. Wasn't too keen on the second bar. Came off more statementish than a direct punch. The third bar- the set up was overly stretched. It really took away from the flow that you had going with the previous lines. But I liked the wordplay/punch connection though. Very nice. Fourth bar was solid, I'll give it props because of the nameplay tied into it. Could've closed out better though. I see where you were going with it, but it didn't hit for me.

@Plot, opener was generic to me. I feel you missed out on the nameplay connection you were going for, but the concept wasn't really impressive either way. Second bar, okay at the least. Wording is my issue here, as it doesn't come off smoothly. Again, the concept "vodka/choking/screwdriver" could have worked if it read better but also, you could have done it probably even better. Third bar, damn it's missing something. Doesn't have that sting, but out of what you had previously, this looks like your best line thus far. Just okay. Not really feeling your fourth bar. Would have been a solid hit being you aimed for a personal, but the wording was a bit off and then the punch itself didn't really hit here either. I have to say your closing bar also missed. Wording is off and again, the punch here didn't connect at all.

I feel Unfukwitable had a pretty solid verse over his opponent in this one. The Dys/ability line was probably the LOTB for me but aside from that everything else seemed to connect, except the closer which I feel was the only miss. Plot could have made this much closer, but some wording issues and misses on some concepts is his downfall here, imo. With that said,

MVGT: Unfukwitable. Good job by both competitors.

11-25-2013, 09:19 AM	#14
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	@Unfukwitable, the opener was a good start. I've seen the Abe/Booth concept done before but connecting it personally gave it an added boost. Wasn't too keen on the second bar. Came off more statementish than a direct punch. The third bar- the set up was overly stretched. It really took away from the flow that you had going with the previous lines. But I liked the wordplay/punch connection though. Very nice. Fourth bar was solid, I'll give it props because of the nameplay tied into it. Could've closed out better though. I see where you were going with it, but it didn't hit for me. @Plot, opener was generic to me. I feel you missed out on the nameplay connection you were going for, but the concept wasn't really impressive either way. Second bar, okay at the least. Wording is my issue here, as it doesn't come off smoothly. Again, the concept "vodka/choking/screwdriver" could have worked if it read better but also, you could have done it probably even better. Third bar, damn it's missing something. Doesn't have that sting, but out of what you had previously, this looks like your best line thus far. Just okay. Not really feeling your fourth bar. Would have been a solid hit being you aimed for a personal, but the wording was a bit off and then the punch itself didn't really hit here either. I have to say your closing bar also missed. Wording is off and again, the punch here didn't connect at all. I feel Unfukwitable had a pretty solid verse over his opponent in this one. The Dys/ability line was probably the LOTB for me but aside from that everything else seemed to connect, except the closer which I feel was the only miss. Plot could have made this much closer, but some wording issues and misses on some concepts is his downfall here, imo. With that said, MVGT: Unfukwitable. Good job by both competitors.