[Frank]

Zyg: I'm a fan of the aquatic rap world. One undiscovered like Atlantis where the mermaids get wet to sound of our bubble notes. I'd like to believe this was an opportunistic time for you to showcase your sea legs. This was a satire. The stale emotion that people may deem as cold coming from you is actually what separates you. You are, cliche as it sounds, not just another fish in the sea. But, If I were to label you a urchant of some kind, I'd probably identify you with the Alaskan Snow Crab. A slow methodical alien like presence gliding along the sea bed, majestic in it's mannerisms.

This was my favorite part:

The first judge they came across was a large seaweed collective.
The woman said, “Listen seaweed, we need your unbiased perspective.
Is this octopus allowed to eat me even though it promised otherwise,
We want to know, in your opinion do you find it justified?”
The seaweed said, “Humans pollute me and kill my brothers with the rudders on their boats,
You spear fishers kill the sea creatures, you are all nothing more than vicious cutthroats.
I rule for the octopus.”
The octopus was pleased. The next judge they found was a fat manatee.
They both told the facts to the judge as the judge rolled around and splashed in the sea.
The fat manatee said, “I have heard similar facts before, and every time I must agree.
Simple words mean nothing. Octopus, I see there was no contract between you and she,
Therefore, I rule for the octopus. “
The squid grinned and barred its beak.

The characteristics worked well here, and giving seaweed a personality was genius. The story was definitely fable like - bringing a bizarre fantasy world into a normal setting - where you're not sure what's really reality - and I think you tip toed that line wonderfully. The last line in particular ended the story on an agenda. The way it was worded though really captured my attention because it read as if you had become a character in the world.


Mordycai: Very fresh angle with the "I gotta write a verse for netcees" plug. It brought a down to earth, multidimensional vibe to the piece. You could tell you had fun writing this verse once you got passed the beginning, which was the best part.

Tailor-made suits lined the auditorium, worn by enthralled historians
Gathering thoughts to explore decorative arts, all this shit wore me thin
I paused to swig some gin, standing where the door begins, awaiting our turn
Five people in front of us, Julie stood calm, only thing left misplaced were my nerves
"This shits lame, Im not a nerd." I snapped so she snapped back, "Please, just shut your trap.
Why must you act like an ass?"

If you had created a relationship with these 2 characters on other levels, the following line would've had more sentimental value to it, corny as it sounds.

I gave her a smile and asked if we could go.
She said , "See what I mean, though?
Why do you gotta be like that...
I should smack your ego!"

Only then will the ending have been justifiable and perhaps even brilliantly pulled off.

As it stands, I vote for Zygote. Mordaci showed pizzaz and youthful vigor but he allowed the picture get the best of him instead of making it his own. Zygote, well done. I enjoyed your verse very much so. In record time, in compelling fashion.


Vote - Zyg