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Old 11-24-2013, 11:54 PM   #14
Diode
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On my phone.. sorry for the brevity

Vulgar - someone is already familiar with the picture's source! Decent twist on the tale of creation, though a bit mundane towards the end once the reveal was obvious. Great technically, excellent word choice, succinct where needed.

Vague - the formatting was very frustrating. It broke up the piece frequently. Vocabulary was excessively complicated and sometimes even misused, also a detraction. The story itself meandered a lot before its xonclusion and left me uninvolved frequently. Very surprised with how little I was drawn in compared to your other work.

V/ vulgar
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