Pat- I liked this verse for it having a concise setup, yet still covering the ground intended. your double-edged sword was your great, but stubborn flow. You didn't display as dynamic or versatile, but I felt like it still did decent job of keeping my attention (possibly because of my next point). You took more of an abstract approach that wasn't entirely accessible emotionally, nor was it apparent what you were getting at at first glance. When you attack a subject like yours, it pays off heavily to draw in the reader, allowing them to feel what you felt without them having to assume your emotions through context. You had a good verse, just not as direct as I feel it should have been.
Mike- This was a very hard-hitting, emotion-driven piece. I'm not completely familiar with your work (especially outside of this season), but I think you went pretty above and beyond to put your audience in the shoes of this piece's subject. This, along with Patrown's, resonated with me in volumes and the angle's emphasis made it that much better. However, I think a more intertwining relation to the topic (metas, wordplay) would have added that extra element of 'nice' to your piece. In any case, this was a dope piece. Good job.
For me, I feel this was a match decided on execution more so than ability. Patrown is a decent writer with great technical potential, but he wasn't as prepared to deliver outside his status quo as far as flow and delivery consistent to the message he tried to convey. Mike came in like a wrecking ball (lol) of raw emotion and reflection in the face of life's tribulations, neglecting flare and flash in exchange for tugged heart strings. Great battle guys. MVGT MIKE.
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Ahem.
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