[Mike Wrecka]

good battle here

breathless - very different verse than im used to from you. it didn't flow as well as your normal stuff. but it was good to see you really tell a story. this verse worked for me. I enjoyed it.

The battle's still present as toddlers turn to adolescents.

that line was awesome for some reason. good use of the picture. but ya the verse did seem a little too vague in some places. like I didn't know they were elves until like halfway through. a lot of details about the civilization you were describing were left out and a lot of the details of the conflict were left out. you did do a good job of describing the current struggle though. what I do sometimes, just as a potential other route, in a piece like this I really describe the main characters in the first section. then introduce a conflict and really delve into that in detail. and then describe a solution or in this case some form of resolution.


Certain - good verse. it was well written. but it was probably my least favorite from you this season. you seemed a tad out of your element. you are a good storyteller as we have seen, but all your previous verses had been heavily grounded in reality. this was more fantasy and it didn't resonate as well. don't get me wrong it was still a very good verse. just not great as the others. the middle to end part were the strength here. that's is where I was moved in the direction of voting for you. the dialogue section to be exact. it seems that you too were inspired by Certains Corner this week just like zygote seemed to be. this part was very well done but before that point I had breathless. but you excelled where he didn't. you were descriptive. I was able to follow what was going on more. it was cohesive.


good battle guys thanks for the reads. close battle imo


vote - certain