FLEX TOPICAL - "The Restaurant"
07-21-2004
heres a riddle, what am I?
if u eat me ur goin to puke, keel over, and out squeal a mouse-
im Jack in the Box, like homeless people who steal their house
i’ve ate some crude food in the past- that gave me some gas
Sonic moves thru me so fast,
…Mr. Robotnic started booby trapping my ass..
i hate veggies, that is a fact! but my mom said ‘u gotta finish’
but fuck Popeyes chicken, shit, i’d rather eat Popeyes spinach
speakin of which, next on my list of restaurants wreckin a dish
only one who likes ‘Olive Garden’,
…is Popeye when protecting his bitch
like the International House of Pancakes? im not that stupid
but when asked to say what else is on my shit-list, IHOP to it
what’s on my top food list? well, i might write the list for fun
but u’ll never see a Cracker Barrel, like a white kid wit a gun
even my soul wont dig this next one, after it’s meals kill me
so u best believe it’ll be a cold day in hell if i ever feel Chili
Jesus has good fridays, comes back on easter, all better ‘n livin
but shit, if he had some bad Friday’s he might never have risen
u should be askin Eve bout this, since i have been preachin shit
she knows how an Applebee makin u feel real bad after eatin it
my girl chose a romantic place, but we hardly got much tighter
she said “meet me 7 o’clock, Outback!”
…so i went to the parking lot to fight her
i think Chinese food is the reason cannibals have ate bladders
panda express’l be extinct faster than da animal its named after
cuz chinese call US food shit, garbage, ‘n nasty, i tell ya its not
but we have names for ur food too…lassie, old yeller and spot
yea im off subject, but its so doggone cruel, im saying this too
fuck what your parents say, u SHOULD play with your food
i’ll burn down white castle with the burger king in it still, hey
and “fuck Dairy Queen!” like what my dad did to the milk maid
they’re icecream sucks! well its decent.. ok i lied, its perfection
but DQ food? they call it that cuz its not qualified for digestion
i get drunk then order the pizza, it gets me full with no regrets
then leaves me dry-heaving for hours… thats a Domino effect
ur about see me sick! ur about see me vomit! guaranteed i cry
cuz i see a Steak n Shake, like a vampire scared as fuck to die
Denny’s just sucks, but my meal wont be abrupt
thank God its open all night
thats how long its food’ll keep me up
and fuck Hardee’s business, i get somethin an can hardly finish
before my motherfucking stomach stings like there Arby’s in it
Jareds fatass almost died of obesity until he lost a ton of pounds
but fuck bein locked in Subway, i’d rather be buried underground
now ya’ll can quit saying ur dope, or u’d beat me...all of its coy
i should swallow u and then spit u up…just for talking Big, boy
--Repping the crew that sonned you, call us Papa Johns..
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