TOPICAL - "The #1 Problem Solver" (RSTL tournament on RM)
5-27-2004
i constantly cover your back, why are u ignoring my wrath?
i been a part of you even before your chord was detached..
so of course its a fact that i persistently implore you to snap
i kno they say violence dont pay, but u can afford to do that
cuz c’mon, you worked off your ass for this jerk in the past
your life was perfectly mapped,
and with a little economic down turn you get trashed?
dammit let go! the faggot fucked up ur plans and ur goals
if you cant manage a position, how can u manage control?
go to work holding a toaster, you know im advising u right
--turn this emotional roller coaster into the ride of your life
how many nights will u lie awake? theres no time to waste
its like you wait for mimes to make the silence break
there IS a time to hate, stop pretendin u’ll be regrettin this
i exist as ur friend in this, the social norm is ur real nemesis
this shits driving u to kill, now let me be ur chauffer instead
cuz u aint a push over, you just been pushed over the edge
so fuck ur boss, kill ur whole office, let the holocaust linger
then lie about an alibi--- theres a nice thought for a thinker
sure, some say lying is like grabbin a wasp by its stinger
but even pinky swearing requires the crossing of fingers!
i know the truth hurts, but its time that i be brutally honest
i always thought of u first, tho my role was usually modest
remember as a little rascal, when you played with ur peers
one broke ur lego castle, ‘n we made him break into tears?
or when ur mom established a curfew, u had it wit her too
so we took some of her cash and smashed up her perfume
and beating Dannys ass in class was a blast, he was a nerd
it didnt make u a maniac,
…it made u the first three letters of the word
i been defendin u since birth, now you have gotten taller
but for better or for worse, im still ur #1 problem solver
Now listen to me-
drape ur boss wit gas, toss a match, make a coffin his home
revenge is sweet,
so is the smell of flesh melting off of his bones
yell ‘u aint shit to me’, tell him his family is already history
rip the seems of his clothes and then strip him of his dignity
laugh as he chokes, and taunt “your wasting your breath”
…then open his case
light one of his $100 cigars from the flame on his chest
…and blow smoke in his face
drink all of his fine liquors just so your bladder is full ‘n
piss a puddle on the floor for his fuckin fat ass to roll in
say ‘firing me was a horrid mistake,’ shit all over his face
then rub it in with the last report that you made
u see, we can maim this bitch! we can leave this mess over
if u need me, my name is Chip---- i live on ur left shoulder
yea, u got an angel on ur right, she says what u need ‘n shit
but im the guy always telling you how to get it the easiest..
some call me deceitful, but we know im real more often
so dont see me as a ‘wrong’, see me as a feasible option
cuz i been defendin u since birth, now u have gotten taller
but for better or for worse, im still ur #1 problem solver
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