[Certain]

patrown: This was not up to your normal standards, even for your 16-line verses. Usually you provide very fluid, action-oriented writing, but this never broke free of being a straight description. You rode rhyming a bit too hard here, and your short lines loaded with rhymes simply didn't provide much content, so then to cut it off at 16 lines really left too little room for anything. You did a good job of hitting the topic directly, though, and I think a longer version of this would have stood up much better. It's not that I think verses should be long, but usually 24 to 36 lines are required to provide a full-feeling verse. You've shown shorter verses can work, but this wasn't one of those times.

Mike Wrekca: I really, really liked the approach to the topic here, and this verse reminds me of your work in the Writing Challenge League. You didn't try to do too much, but you came up with the perfect concept to build your verse on and outshine your opponent. This writing wasn't as inspired as your best verses in the WCL, but it was strong and a continuation of your momentum-building finish to this season. The details in your verse built up the storyline, which I liked as a concept. But sometimes you struggle describing emotions, coming across as too in-your-face and simplistic. For instance, "then I see a drawing of our house in crayon" is such an amazing image, but "it rips me apart quick" doesn't do justice to the emotions. But this verse was really strong, a return to you in your element after last week's solid reprieve. You may end up stealing a spot in the top four when all is finished this season, which is stunning after a 1-3 then 2-4 start. You clearly won this battle.

Vote: Mike Wrecka