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Old 11-23-2013, 03:13 PM   #6
NYCSPITZ
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breathless this might be my fav verse from you that I've read. It was on point and your command of the english language was strong here. I think some wording could have saved you a bit (pilfering, pilfered through the streets - pilferless = not a word) and you seemed a bit too vague at times, but I'm nitpicking a bit because overall I really enjoyed the verse. Certain came pretty cool too The beginning was my fav with the whole suspense building bit. The rest in comparison seemed a bit anticlimactic to me in comparison, just thought you could have maybe added a bit more energy or ups and downs to make it more interesting. However the wording was dope and it was more linear and to the point than breath this time.

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