Pretty damn good battle here. Read both 3 times a piece back to back.
Breathless - Shit was dope, a couple times I lost touch with the flow but the constant source of wordplay you provided made up for those small errors. However, you're story I wasn't really feeling. I felt like you weren't sure where you were heading with it all, like It could've went in a hundred different directions.The ending kinda threw me off, didn't really know what to get out of it. It's funny how you got got into the whole Elves and Druid line, being as an old game called Everquest popped into mind as soon as I seen that pic.
Certain - You were on point with this, didn't really throw me off with your flow at all. You outlined a lot of fine details in your story, making it hard for me not to be interested the whole time. One concern about your ending..so, Benton had a lot of coal? in which the elders stole for gold? Or was it a similar comparison to how our current wars are realy about oil, yet in the elven(?) dynasty? Not sure what to get out of it but either way it was a great read.
Not sure which way to go with this..if this were a battle where writers focused more on their rhyme scheme and vocab, breath would have this. I felt Certains story was displayed stronger so Ima have to go with him. Tough one though, couple of real good reads here.
Vote - Certain
|