First time in an AOB battle, and this is my opponent? Fuck it ill go lightly..
Cause I feel like a blood with this match up, you can tell Sn00p doesn't like me
need to flesh out the punch concept more in the set up - make it clear that sn00p's showing he doesn't like you bc he gave u a wack opponent... it's an OK line but coulda hit harder if worded better
You named yourself after a fictional society, and its supposed to be scary as shit?
Fuck that, Ill let clips fly and leave ya with a close shave...like the hair on a dick
nah.. seen a few close shave lines before... also, try to make it a punch on both sides of the wp... like instead of saying 'like the hair on a dick' you could've set the line up about he's hairy as shit and girls think he's disgusting or something
When I got the glock palmed, you know its time to drop bombs
These bullets will leave ya back slashed when I aim with the dot calm
not a strong punch - more of a swag and flow line - but could've been an OK line with a better set up... for example you're saying you're calm when you aim, so in the set up you could contrast it with him being nervous/shaky... something like
'you're nervous and shaking whenever u got a glock palmed..
but me? I'll leave ya back slashed - I aim with the dot calm'
You like to act hard, but everybody knows youll never let the glock squeeze
So Ill leave you on ice when these arms raise, like I scored a goal in hockey
cool, best line of ur verse
If he wanna swing one me, Ill just tell this little bitch try it
Cause this battle is nothing like your name, you cant stop in the middle of dyin
almost - there's that 'a' in his name that doesn't fit... but still... but again you gotta set up the punch concept a bit better - 'can't stop in the middle of dying' needs to flow on conceptually from what you've said in your set up
You got potential my dude... for now I'd say just try to set your punch concepts up better so they'll hit harder
vs
Mdesanto? Wtf is that, spanish mexican? who allowed this foreigner?
I can"t pronounce your name idiot, but I'll make sure your pronounced dead by the coroner.
seen 'pronounced dead' lines before... this is slightly better bc of personal
You'll lose this miserably, dude Imma abuse you evilly,
Just chew you up and spit you out like the music industry.
nah, fillerish
Coz I read some of your history, and son you were just as wack in past lives..
So Now Imma turn you into a painful memory like Lama did to the Netcees Archives.
alright current event line... I didn't dislike it but it didn't do much for me either
Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?
good. a wp i haven't seen before and flipped well
Ya styles make-believe, dissing Dys? You aint got the damnedest of chances,
This faggot couldnt even handle rude offences, if he was managing Santas ranches.
cool... liiiitle bit of a stretch but it works. another original wp
those last 2 lines were pretty good. Before that I was leaning to mdesanto, but u got it convincingly from those - best 2 lines of the battle. Good job.
v/ Dys
|