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Old 11-18-2013, 12:55 AM   #11
symetrik
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 709
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certain:
felt a little disheveled, the final stanza using dope wordage that didn't across in the other two as hard and seemed out of place.
plus, product placement, gross.

favourite lines:
Quote:
I'm an emotional void, coasting on an autism cluster.
A patchwork palaver-pushing semi-person and caustic disrupter.
Quote:
So I tell tall tales and catalog disconsolates
with blue-state sob stories and scatter-shot dishonestness.

frank:
good plot, seemed a little back and forth (or out of order?) in terms of story telling time line, but I grasped the idea readily.
constant feeling of the topic was awesome, as well.

favourite lines:
Quote:
When my brother Joe came back from Jail, he had tear drops tattooed;
mother asked ‘’what’s the meaning of those?
And Joe said
“I’m forever crying inside” his eyes watering like a crease in a hose.
vote: Frank
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