[veritas]

Originally Posted by Objective

Lately I've thought about what you said, but it's harder to live with knowing than not. However, since I am mentally aware about my own state I am actually kind of afraid of what I might face on that journey. It is hard to let things be when you are a thinker like me, specially being open about things and always looking for several answers alltho' an answer may already have been given. The hardest part is being satisfied with what's presented to me and it eats me up on occasion. Due to this I think I have learned a lot about myself (thank God that least something positive came outta it) and I am afraid that with the diagnosis I've been given (dysthymia), I think I'm on my way to develop manic depression and would like some hints on how to prevent that from happening before I end up in a position where that diagnosis can be given. Well, since it is classified as a genetic disorder and it is an extremely severe condition I guess doctors etc. would have picked it up already, or have they? Either way I identify myself closely with 90% of the symptons on this list and could have done that for the past 10 years: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guid...nic-depression. What do you think the next move for me should be? Also; I'm on sleeping meds now, been prescribed Vallergan and I try to stabilize my sleeping pattern.

More importantly; I'd like some tips on how I can take charge of my own life instead of feeling (completely different from being) dependant on those around me as I feel the connections I make is more important than breaking them in order to do what's needed to stabilize and keep a healthy mental state. Also; the friendzone is a bitch. I also want to add that I reached these answers because you told me about my defense mechanisms. Thanks a lot for helping me to put them to light so I can better myself and the life I am living.

so you feel dependent, but aren't?......