Netcees - View Single Post - WK2: Zenland (1-0) VS. zygote (0-0) [ZYGOTE WINS, 6-1.]

Coup · 02-23-2013, 11:12 PM

Zygote=

I really liked the creepy tone of this guy speaking. The vibe was to me as if he stalked Zenland and knew him from a distance, like a predator or something toying with Zen, almost mocking. I would have loved to see you lay off the questions and topic crisis going on toward the finish to play up the neurotic vibe or start a shock horror with some real threats, turning this into a tense situation...this would have pushed the tone into new ground and really add a level of depth to this rather one dimensional verse in terms of concept. Not bad. Good crisp showing, creative pic tie in on lock. all puns included. sweet, sweet flow and word placement, pauses and breaks. compliments to ya.

Zenland- airy, breezy verse...flowed along touching on relative factoids and common knowledge of the Da Vinci. liquid voice and presentation...I liked the concept of da vinci and the world figuring out and trying their hand unlocking the man himself, rather when it's normally the other way around, tryign to unlock his work. This was like inception, you flipped the script and I think this is where you lost some people. with the presentation more biographical and anecdotal this lacked a more story driven situation that could have placed your very concept in a more palatable way.

top notch flow man...made it look easy cat

v-Zenland

02-23-2013, 11:12 PM	#9
Coup Don't believe the hype Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 572 Battle Record: 4-5 Rep Power: 0	Zygote= I really liked the creepy tone of this guy speaking. The vibe was to me as if he stalked Zenland and knew him from a distance, like a predator or something toying with Zen, almost mocking. I would have loved to see you lay off the questions and topic crisis going on toward the finish to play up the neurotic vibe or start a shock horror with some real threats, turning this into a tense situation...this would have pushed the tone into new ground and really add a level of depth to this rather one dimensional verse in terms of concept. Not bad. Good crisp showing, creative pic tie in on lock. all puns included. sweet, sweet flow and word placement, pauses and breaks. compliments to ya. Zenland- airy, breezy verse...flowed along touching on relative factoids and common knowledge of the Da Vinci. liquid voice and presentation...I liked the concept of da vinci and the world figuring out and trying their hand unlocking the man himself, rather when it's normally the other way around, tryign to unlock his work. This was like inception, you flipped the script and I think this is where you lost some people. with the presentation more biographical and anecdotal this lacked a more story driven situation that could have placed your very concept in a more palatable way. top notch flow man...made it look easy cat v-Zenland __________________ What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope.