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Old 11-14-2013, 06:02 PM   #2
BWHAHA
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overly ambitiously stuck out as a sore thumb. not in the bad sense, i mean, sometimes a hyperbolic fragment in adjectival word usage is commonplace for witty and satirical writers, but it seems like you were teeter tottering on the edge..or maybe misused it? I know what you meant, almost like a pause, to explain the magnitude of the ambitious intent. But was a bit odd, none the less, felt a good vibe from this. short simple stanzas filled with parallel linear structure. the subject was alright, the way you worded it was verse/essay which isn't my favorite. but it'll do in some instances. kewl.
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