[Certain]

Vividlyvague: This definitely was my favorite verse from you. I think you handle yourself much better when you have a clear topic in mind. There are serious shades of young Tom Wolfe in your frenetic writing style. If you haven't read him, I highly recommend The Bonfire of the Vanities, though it's long. Anyway, The start-and-stop wording worked for you this week because it was so important in developing your characters. But I do think your flow is just impossible to pick up, between the vast punctuation, the varied syllable counts and the disparity in rhyme quality. That's going to hold you back in battles against those who can equal your content, though not many will be able to if you write with this much purpose.

patrown:I have to admit that I can't figure out the relation to the topic here. I looked at the photo a bunch, and while I could see a possible backstory for the screaming woman, the connection to the actual photo and what's happening in it was vague, at best. Were you playing off her scream as a shout about her hand-modeling career? With that said, I did like your writing. You feed readers a lot of information without straining, and you keep it fluid. But you didn't do enough here.

Vote: Vividlyvague