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Diode - feels like a car crash. gone in a flash/ ride for others/ gauges are filled/ and i guess parking lot would be indicative of driving but.. i still felt it from your word choices.
favorite line..
cause and effecting your affection, you're leaving me ill
least favorite line..
depression and dejection, you know i'm serving it
altogether you hit the topic very well. instead of giving some kind of literal story, you instead captured the essence of the photo and drew some emotion out of it's perception. well executed, although a tad abrupt.
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breathless - fuuuck. almost halfway through i wanted to start typing out something along the lines of, " it's missing something," but once i got to the end.. i realized you were setting me up for that final moment of "oh fuck," which i did experience. i can take this piece apart and dissect it stanza by stanza.. but really, in the end, i feel like you wrote a compelling tale and led your audience along with a bitter ass(es) carrott. great job. well done.