Welcome back, DAM. This match was really good. I feel both competitors did a great job tapping into this picture. Both directions were very different.
symetrik, from what I've read from you so far this season, you pack a lot of deep thought for such short pieces. Reading over your story a few times, the feelings were very heavy. You approached this image very uniquely (whereas DAM took the expected route) and that really reeled me in. The way you wrote everything may seem off, but it actually comes together. I would say, your story could have used some stronger wording but you do a good job using simple terminology to relay a solid message. I actually liked your piece from beginning to end, the ending being very strong, and you transitioned to it well, and it astounds me how you are able to do this with the little that you share each week. Maybe my favorite from you thus far.
DAM, first off, I liked how smoothly your piece read from start to finish. You definitely have that going for you. I'll agree with Geno here, in that the direction you took isn't fresh, but you did a good job still putting together a touching story. There are some things, in this first piece of yours, which showed your rust. Some of your lines could have been worded differently- this was particularly in the early part of your piece for example: "the damn its whys"- it took from what you were saying, possibly sacrificing the content to keep the rhythm of your piece, I think you could have phrased that better, but it's not so much a big deal, I kind of saw the difference between the first half from the second. Your ending is my second knock. I liked it, but there wasn't enough written before that led into it, unless I'm missing something, but from what I read, nothing sort of tied into the icing you put on the cake. In comparison to symetrik's ending, it's pretty even in intensity, but the transition to it hurt here. All in all, very good story for getting back into the write life.
Impressed with both pieces here, but one stood out more than the other to me, and that was symetrik's story. While very short, it packed a solid punch. The ending I really liked, very powerful and the direction he took was very fresh from the image. DAM did a good job, but I feel the route he took was less risky from the one his opponent went.
MVGT: symetrik. Good job by both competitors.
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