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Old 11-10-2013, 07:06 PM   #8
patrown
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zygote - your verse is full of meat. plenty to chew on. somehow i enjoyed the late rhymes. you said so much with each bar - it really is a feat in and of itself. i didn't truly dislike syllable counts, but at times i was a bit thrown off. more and less have their ups and downs, but i think more worked for you here. i enjoyed the small details.. like the sea floor walking creatures with the compressed organs.. who comes up with this stuff? zyg.

genocide- brutal man. brutal. very honest though. that's some real content. i will back certain's point about the last line. could've done without that. some of the language was very abrasive, but that's okay. i can't really complain about any aspect of your verse except for a couple of spelling errors. and they didn't effect my vote at all because everything was easy to comprehend.

/v zyg - i feel he told the more intricate tale. better mechanics. more abstract approach to the topic, which is the more difficult of the two chosen. since zyg did pull it off so well, it's not very hard for me to make this decision. still, two great pieces. thank you both for the reads.
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