[e11even]

Mr. J- Oh shit. I was looking for a connection for like forever, and you didn't disappoint. This dragged on a little long for me, as the tempo and mood got kinda stale. The rhyming kept it interesting enough, and I'm glad I kept reading. If this had a few interesting switch-ups this could have been even more dope. Great job.

Frank- This was a very interesting story development style. It wasn't polished, but I believe I saw the intent in the context and how it flowed. Your topic of choice, while very out of the ordinary, was executed with what seemed to be a lack of genuine interest. The writer's mood transcends the work into a tangible bundle of literary emotion, but this came off very bland and flat. I feel like there were plenty of opportunities here to capture something worth holding on to, as there were plenty of emotion gaps that could have been utilized to bring out the life in the cause that this piece seemed to be intended for. All in all, as a longwinded writer myself, I think that with the little that was accomplished despite the length of this piece, It could definitely have come harder in less lines and more focused toward grabbing the reader and piquing their interest. Good verse overall, though.

I was a little disappointed this battle didn't go AS hard as I expected, seeing as how both you guys are heavyweights (lyrically, of course). The fact that neither truly had that enthralling factor I look for in every battle, I had to look more toward how sound the story, lyrical structure, and overall playout of the piece delivered. With that in mind, MVGT Mr. J for having more focus, better connection to the reader, and far better brevity:potency ratio imo. Thanks for showing, guys...