[Adonis]

Going to be blunt and honest here, I did not enjoy either. Frank, I've personally never been a fan of long bars or paragraph form because to me it cheapens flow while also showing the error in flow more than regular bars. The story was a decent, good description and ovverall pace. To me though, from point A to Z, there just wasn't much. Hated 'grizzly groggy' fyi. The first two stanza's were simply dope. The detail in the daily happenings of a mountain and river. I wish that was the full concept. The fire was equally cool, but how you posed the question, brought up the topic of mankind, I just didn't know about that. Felt like you wrote a good verse, you were cruising, lost in the writing, then thought, I need a closer. And shat the last bit out. All in all a solid verse, I actually enjoyed it more than I first thought, mainly because of the massive amounts of imagery, hated flow as the syllables were damn near doubled in spots and just hard to catch in general.

MrJ. Near middle to end you switched flow which I enjoyed. The begining didn't seem like your style. Read as if youu tried to flow where usually its just so natural. that and you so often have a fresh take on a topic I grew to expect it, but this concept was a bit shallow and well, easy to think of IMO. All in all not the best of you. Work, final 3/4 had that seamless and easy to read flow

V/ frank better concept/execution on concept where J had better flow, but not through out. Close vote, slightly giving to frank in grand scheme of things.