zenland - you bounce back between different methods of rhyming, and it's fairly entertaining. actually - one of the more "enjoyable" reads i've encountered recently. as far as my own personal strange sense of enjoyment is concerned - i really did enjoy this, blockagraph. buut..what someone else say earlier? parapeligraph? lmfao at that one. no hate.. allllll love..
run on sentence of the year -
See, it peaks at noon, it's leaving at dusk in a gush of the musket tumbling and dumped in a tub of sudden eruption and lushed, no blushed at the bursts, no the firsts in spurts that purged the herds that spurred through the day dreams it must so it may seem its gone way too fast
yeeh! get some my dude. slain see, fascinating. i like how you roll. it sounds pretty fucking good. id like to freestyle with you. that shit would be enjoyable. but as a topical piece i really just don't feel it as a whole my dude. i used to rhyme alllllot and it never came out as enjoyable as i think this is. freal.seriously you are the peoples champ imo. love to hate on you rhyming your ass off. just conceptually, cant really read too deep into it bro. sorry. try and string a single theme throughout your entire paragraphs. better yet, please.. start using your enter key some more. its not that i dont feel you, or see you, i just read some really good stories from you when you were in a slightly different place. focus. take a downer. relax. its okay.we will still be here when you do so - and will likely be saying the same things. much love bruh. that spurratic steez at the end - idk. i guarantee you won't be arriving to brunch. thats all i'm saying. haha. keep doing you.
mike wrecka - carried the rhyme like a fucking champion of champions here..
grabbed my girl, got in the car and just hit the gas,
running away from familiarity although I miss the past,
traveling towards the unknown watching the system crash,
listening to the radio while the transmissions last,
worried and home sick so I hope these symptoms pass,
siick. enjoyed that. just for the sheer joy of well executed insertions of assonance... that was an enjoyable passage. all in all its like the walking dead meets the cold wars worst nightmare. pretty fuucking smooth though.
you hit the picture spot on. great story telling. development was definitely more than decent.
/v mike wrecka - told a better story. rhymed a little better. did a whole lot more. superior approach. although i did like zens flow, the way he threw around his style.. i enjoyed mikes piece as a whole and am giving it the due praise it deserves with a 100% sure vote in his direction.
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