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Old 11-07-2013, 11:52 PM   #4
timeless
past tense
 
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It's an honest fact. Big bomb exact - ly. Reactions happen - nig with a flash of synapses collaps - ing on literal infractions it's a little its actual it's factual it's absolute fact. See, we're back and it's happening
Zen, I absolutely hate your structure. Shit, ive been off and on rap boards for nearly 15 years now and I've prolly vote against 95% of the people who displayed their verses in that frame. Its just so hard to keep a flow certain. Youre the exception, although a couple times I lost my pace and had to backtrack, it was all good because line for line it just kept getting better and better. I want to say this structure works for this type of writing, but I couldn't tell you. whatever works better for you I guess

Mike, I was feeling where the story was going until I just came to a complete stop at the end. Felt like it should've been anticipated a little more, you know? like where are they now? etc. Your rhyme scheme was basic, nothing really too intriguing or catchy. Line for line, you kept it pretty basic.

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