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Old 11-04-2013, 01:46 AM   #13
patrown
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overall i think you both went similar distances with your concept. although you utilized different approaches, i felt different things from each. this was a great battle. that's why i'm not starting off on a particular person like i normally do. i feel like breathless explored a lot of the psyche. at the same time, i feel like mike wrecka was a little more situational. so i got more emotion from breathless, while i understood more of what mike did with what he had instead of just exploring how he felt about an instance . whatever it(s) was. it wasn't really clear with both. so..

breathless -i felt more engaged. seriously breath, you improved by leaps and bounds this week..,................... on what you put forward.this week i really think you tried to accomodate your audience more. so seriously, i am proud of you. and happy for you. and think you kicked fucking ass. but you were still toooooo vague.
But fuck it, I haven't listened since I hit the level that I think I'm on.
^^^ you really do not listen. and i think you're great because of that fact. but it could hurt you in the future. GET OUTSIDE OF YOURSELf. create stories. fictional people that don't exist. fictional situations that you can express yourself through. i think it will take your writing to a whole new level. but i enjoyed this piece a lot so don't think i'm voting biased because i want you to do what i want you to do. freal. but this week you took an extremely vague premis and WENT FOR IT. went for it. seriously. did great.

mike wrecka - his verse could be interpreted a few different ways. i gotta smoke a cig on this fuck. brb. i imagined an air pressured truckers seat from this pair..
im done, this is over, im about to let go,
remove my belt buckle and raise it in the air really slow,
idk why. probably my own experiences. just felt that from what you gave to that point. but after that you created this sense of wonder. like, you just killed a hooker? got a bunch of period blood all over you? orrr.. you just ate some dank nessy dogs. and you got catsup all over your ass. idk. truly, i'm a bit confused. i want to know what you ate. perhaps what brand your jeans were. what stains you had. i don't think you really explored what kind of psychological stains you had or more specifically - where they came from. if there would have been some dead hooker action --- or seriously , some rotten hot dog steez, like.. food poisoning.. god damkn you nessy burger.. iw ould have seriously felt mws more.

/v breath. as a complete piece of work, i enjoyed his more. but i really do think MW had more potential from what these two had. so mike, you came so extremely close to victory, i want to know what your character had for dinner. or more about the hooker you offed. but breath, you took it this week. great job dude. no bias. read both 5+ times. great battle. extremely great battle. and for the record, i changed my vote more than five times before i came to this conclusion. if mw would have created a solid character and followed through with solid character development he would have won this week. imo.
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