symetrik:
slug much? i could hear him performing this as i read every line. don't know if that was your intention, but between the subject matter and the flow it was like a clone. i enjoyed it, though i think wearing "a" guise would have fit better unless there was some subtle homoerotic wordplay i didn't pick up on. there wasn't anything mindblowing to it, but the word choice was great and you described the emotions of this character accurately.
tyson:
first off - skies, elude, mills, reap, think, through
"These immortal diamond works as a prism to deflect the dark matter of my decisions"
^ liked this
"absolute silence.." <- that line was trying to be deep and instead made no sense. i know what you were going for.
this verse read like what a battle rapper would put together if he was told to type the stereotypical topical verse. a lot of pontificating and amg i'm so deep type lines. there were way too many metaphors for my liking and the topic has been done to death (no pun intended). a good start, hope you stick around.
v/ symetrik
__________________
|