[Certain]

symetrik: You're quickly becoming one of my favorite writers in this league, but your brevity does you no favors for many voters. I liked the way you pealed back layers of pretense, then brought it to a boil. The language of the third stanza was particularly impressive, subtle but revealing, particularly in the final line. The lead-in guiding lines were interesting, but I'm not sure they were ideal for this verse. Perhaps it's more that they weren't as fresh as the first time you used them. But the take on the topic was perfect, and I hope everyone understands what you were going for.

TYSON: This verse either was packed tight or too airy. I'm leaning toward the former, but the suspicion of the latter still exists. Either way, your writing is too dense and stiff. The metaphors were pretty cliché, too, and I never found myself forming any connection with your verse even after three reads. It just sort of spurted along clunkily, which can be a symptom of rust. I'd like to see what you can do if you stick around, but at the moment, your writing feels forced.

Vote: symetrik