Certain:
Loved this.
Up until the third stanza, I wasn't 100% feeling it, just because "oh, guy and a girl, falls in love, she starts cheating, storyline 101", but as soon as I read the first line of stanza four I was like "oh shit".
Favourite lines:
Quote:
The imprints of tears appear like a time lapse of past fights.
Her lipstick is smeared on the wine glass from last night,
but she's gone now.
This was day seventeen since Eternity
by Calvin Klein
had flirted me into trying this mountain climb.
I looked into the mirror. I looked at a Perfect 10.
I shattered it with a single blow,
and I never saw her again.
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Really good twist that makes the reader read the entire thing again.
Vulgar:
Nice storyline
Favourite lines:
Quote:
One of the car bombs peeled the lawn, then the smog cleared up
Anton stood palmin' a beer mug, molotov in his pocket, balaclava & earmuffs
"I grow tired of M1-Carbines blastin' through the Springfields,
enough bullets for a thorough portfolio of evil - it's been real
The days of the car-seat ceased - you became impartial to RPG's
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I feel these lines were really powerful, and if you had more of these it would have been a stronger piece all together, but that's just me.
all in all, it had a solid story line, backstory to conclusion.
vote: certain