[breathless]

Vote - YDK

I dunno why people were bitchin about voting on this "ridiculously long" match up, I mean, shit, a hundred bars in audio is maybe 3, 4 minutes tops... Regardless though, these were both pretty killer pieces

YDK, lemme start by saying, this was fucking incredible, and I don't have a single complaint. Everything, lyrically, storywise, the use of the end line, spot on man. The comparisons were what mainly got me though.

***He tries in vain to hide disdain for his own emotionless pieces,
Unbeknownst to him, his idols prospered in writing about love because they never achieved it. ***
Lonely authors speaking of things they only believed they perceived,
While he tried to mirror they're techniques about the one thing he received.
Monetary values were worthless to the men seeking more,
Yet to the man that chased adoration, the world lay ignored.

I loved the wife's poem piece, how it was simpler than the rest and all, her not being a writer and using the man's hobby to him and their dual realization when he comes in to comfort her before even realizing she's about to leave. Amazing verse man

Frank... If these two pieces were say, made into film shorts, I think you may have taken it. Incredible imagery all throughout, that part where you used the OooOo's in different forms was pretty clever. Seriously though, not many writers have the balls or talent to put homoincestual molesty stuff in a verse and not be egregiously vulgar. I didn't think it was shock value, it was raw, real shit, and I commend you for that. I really liked the ending how you attached the relatives' personality influences to the main guy... But, I wasn't really feeling how you basically just threw the end line in there because you had to, and although you had some damn fine lyricism I just felt it wasn't quite as polished as it should've been for a story this deep.