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Old 11-01-2013, 04:35 PM   #9
breathless
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Nice, honestly, I couldn't pinpoint if you were talking about zombies, heroin addicts or Egyptian grave robbers, regardless though, the wording and flow was killer. Nice use of the soft o and I "ah" sounds verbal rhyming with the "ar" sounds. Definitely brought an audio effect to the writing, and the cadence was on point throughout, never had the typical "wait, how's this supposed to sound" question. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I read this in 5/x timing... It fit, at least for me, the whole way through

(1)exposed light and (2)further data (3)speculates they (4)did it at their (5)own price
it was (1)showtime, the (2)escape was (3)efficient enough to (4)dazzle those (5)lies

The way you slightly reversed the multi spots at the end of the lines here was real nice too. And transitioning the end rhyme to the beginning was really cohesive, shows true talent.

Great work J, keep that shit up
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