Netcees - View Single Post

CopyPat · 10-30-2013, 12:06 PM

hahaha sup zen. cool to see someone new at paragraph type style giving it a go. overall i liked it, and this formatting definitely worked with how u wrote this one. lots of cool slanting rhyming going on, tons of overall rhyming which was cool to read and good for the flow. i didn't really see the point of what you were trying to say though till "In this dream I'm with her." then it started to make sense. before that part it kindof seemed a little random and all over the place. almost like u tried so hard to format this differently that u got away from what u were trying to say and just rhyming shit.

so yeah second half was much better to me. keep at this style it will be cool to see u get better at it, just remember to stay on topic

10-30-2013, 12:06 PM	#7
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	hahaha sup zen. cool to see someone new at paragraph type style giving it a go. overall i liked it, and this formatting definitely worked with how u wrote this one. lots of cool slanting rhyming going on, tons of overall rhyming which was cool to read and good for the flow. i didn't really see the point of what you were trying to say though till "In this dream I'm with her." then it started to make sense. before that part it kindof seemed a little random and all over the place. almost like u tried so hard to format this differently that u got away from what u were trying to say and just rhyming shit. so yeah second half was much better to me. keep at this style it will be cool to see u get better at it, just remember to stay on topic __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.