Netcees - View Single Post - Week 5 - Mike Wrecka (1-3) vs. Adonis (2-1) - MIKE WRECKA WINS 7-6

e11even · 10-28-2013, 01:49 AM

Adonis- A beautifully grim, well measured and written poetic piece. The descriptive value versus the overall size of the verse was pretty damn good. Even IF you never said apocalypse, I would have already had that inkling from your description:

Those Fiery limbs and boiling skin... Bursting with ease,

No shrieking lungs gasping, only dried tears,
Rivers dissipate as bridges sit ablaze,
Crackling away the only paths to escape,

Nice drop.

Mike- You packaged irony well, my friend. Your nursery-rhythm flow carried the story 3/4 of the verse, then that extra tidbit at the end tied it all in perfectly. Really surprising sum up of the story and it put everything else where it had to be. Good Job.

This was badly worded though: "so the cycle continued, over and over in this cyclical nature," <-- i remember when i used to write like that.

Good battle guys. I was actually surprised to see two drops so similar in theme with as broad a topic as colors are. I liked both verses for very differing reasons, and really, thats what makes battles more memorable tbh. All in all though, I think the tighter display and more descriptive nature of the verse gets a dub this time around. MVGT Adonis. Good week guys.

10-28-2013, 01:49 AM	#18
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Adonis- A beautifully grim, well measured and written poetic piece. The descriptive value versus the overall size of the verse was pretty damn good. Even IF you never said apocalypse, I would have already had that inkling from your description: Those Fiery limbs and boiling skin... Bursting with ease, No shrieking lungs gasping, only dried tears, Rivers dissipate as bridges sit ablaze, Crackling away the only paths to escape, Nice drop. Mike- You packaged irony well, my friend. Your nursery-rhythm flow carried the story 3/4 of the verse, then that extra tidbit at the end tied it all in perfectly. Really surprising sum up of the story and it put everything else where it had to be. Good Job. This was badly worded though: "so the cycle continued, over and over in this cyclical nature," <-- i remember when i used to write like that. Good battle guys. I was actually surprised to see two drops so similar in theme with as broad a topic as colors are. I liked both verses for very differing reasons, and really, thats what makes battles more memorable tbh. All in all though, I think the tighter display and more descriptive nature of the verse gets a dub this time around. MVGT Adonis. Good week guys. __________________ Ahem. Last edited by e11even; 10-28-2013 at 01:51 AM.