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Old 10-27-2013, 11:11 PM   #11
breathless
Master of Beastiality
 
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Lansing, Mi
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Vote - YDK

Although I wasn't really feeling the basicness of rhyme words chosen, you had an awesome story, kept me interested and wanting to know where you were taking it. Shit was real, like, on a real level.
Fave lines...

My family bought it for me for graduating for em But the feeling of family's been torn since I hit a tree soarin. There's been some division since I had the collision, Focused on what's in my vision, noticed hopelessness hidden

Zen, this just didn't speak to me, dunno if I missed something, but it was just like, girl suckin her dad's dick waiting for her prom date? Although you implored more creative multis, they seemed sorta awkward at times. And the usage of names just seemed out of place.
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