[PancakeBrah]

Vulgar -

Gewd stuff. Everything was cohesive, with the random flourishes of inspiration and brilliance that gives you your signature. I only wrestled with two bits of wording, 'raining gusts' and 'grainy prose', but aside from that the technical aspect of the verse was pretty much flawless. This type of verse is one of my favorites to write, a character sketch in the shell of a 'story', with the story aspect just being a vehicle to further add detail. You handled it with much aplomb. Good verse.

Lexicon -

The piece of the puzzle you did have was great. I was interested throughout. Your rhythm and rhymes were strong and increased the reading experience instead of detracting from it. I thought the social critique masked the way it was was borderline brilliant. It could have been corny in the wrong hands but you knew what you were doing. Shame you didn't finish the verse, it had great potential.

v/ Vulgar