View Single Post
Old 10-27-2013, 05:51 PM   #15
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
Zen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 35079722
Zen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant future
Default

Favorites:
so hand me the trophy. master like Roshi, floating beyond
illuminate, my new estate is glow-in-the-dark

let it be known, let it be holy, let it be heard
a legend was born. now every other legend disturbed
a legacy in theory is a legacy earned

Those lines I just quoted there were very impressive. Each time I read something I'm still surprised at how perfectly each and every line is structured. That's not an easy thing to do and yet you do it regularly. In my opinion the beginning was much more interesting than the second half. The setting and emotions you described were nicely done. The second half was undoubtedly the more complex of the two, but the first half was just a more enjoyable read in my opinion. Nonetheless good work.
Zen is offline   Reply With Quote