Netcees - View Single Post - Week 5 - Mike Wrecka (1-3) vs. Adonis (2-1) - MIKE WRECKA WINS 7-6

Vulgar · 10-27-2013, 04:26 PM

Adonis I thought this was a sick verse. No doubt, you make full use of your vintage style: an evenly cultivated rhymestock using some form of stand alone concept to illustrate a point. In your diction, something is always like 0.05% off, which doesn't give me the best clarity, but nonetheless, the 'homemade' quality of your work is incontestable. I liked the language and the approach this week.

My favorite part: "Rivers dissipate as bridges sit ablaze,
Crackling away the only paths to escape,"

Mike Wrecka Wasn't feeling this one tbh. Seemed like you were stricken with writing constipation because it read like you were struggling to churn out something fluid and convincing. My verse was terrible this week so I'm not one to talk. Just thought this wasn't engaging; I had a hard time caring about where the story was going. I think you should read more fiction and get into a storytelling steez.

Vote - Adonis

10-27-2013, 04:26 PM	#7
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Adonis I thought this was a sick verse. No doubt, you make full use of your vintage style: an evenly cultivated rhymestock using some form of stand alone concept to illustrate a point. In your diction, something is always like 0.05% off, which doesn't give me the best clarity, but nonetheless, the 'homemade' quality of your work is incontestable. I liked the language and the approach this week. My favorite part: "Rivers dissipate as bridges sit ablaze, Crackling away the only paths to escape," Mike Wrecka Wasn't feeling this one tbh. Seemed like you were stricken with writing constipation because it read like you were struggling to churn out something fluid and convincing. My verse was terrible this week so I'm not one to talk. Just thought this wasn't engaging; I had a hard time caring about where the story was going. I think you should read more fiction and get into a storytelling steez. Vote - Adonis Last edited by Vulgar; 10-28-2013 at 01:15 AM.