I don't know if my vote counts or not due to me not being signed in, but I'll write my critique for you both since I appreciate a site with a nice league.
Mr. J - I really liked your flow on this, as soon as I started reading I was nodding my head.
I really loved these lines here:
Quote:
a rarity, diamond in the rough, my curse alone is hope
life the beach who wears it down enough to blow my toast
a message in a bottle that traveled farther than I
where the unknown circles below, making it harder to cry
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just so smooth flowing and I really liked the message in a bottle line. great lines.
A number of really nice lines in this verse, deep stuff. perfect flow and scheme was pretty solid.
nicely done dude, I haven't read a lot of your work, but everything I've seen is always real nice flow and content is gold. awesome verse.
Certain - at first I 'll be honest I wasn't feelin the whole slanged up lines. But as I continued reading, it grew on me and just had this swag to it that developed a character. to me at least that's what hooked me. flow and technical stuff was all in order on this too as well. You played with the scheme which was nice, enjoyable read most definitely. I wish it was a little longer though. cause I just felt it ended too soon. sick verse though.
In my opinion
Mr. J took this with a more developed verse, just longer and edged it out. very close battle.