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e11even · 10-26-2013, 03:27 AM

This had a crisp consistency and was sorta like a trailing train of thought. I feel like you wrote this with no breaks, letting your thought process take you for a logically spoken ride, but with an illogical execution. This wasn't planned, it just was. I get that feeling a lot from how you write. You don't over think your direction. You just let it flow. Pretty tight piece for it not to be focused. Good shit.

All you need to do now is make it a memorable ramble. Write it train-of-thought first, then add in the more concentrated 'grabbing' elements later. I think you have a lot of untapped ill in you. Its obvious you take text lightly.

10-26-2013, 03:27 AM	#6
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	This had a crisp consistency and was sorta like a trailing train of thought. I feel like you wrote this with no breaks, letting your thought process take you for a logically spoken ride, but with an illogical execution. This wasn't planned, it just was. I get that feeling a lot from how you write. You don't over think your direction. You just let it flow. Pretty tight piece for it not to be focused. Good shit. All you need to do now is make it a memorable ramble. Write it train-of-thought first, then add in the more concentrated 'grabbing' elements later. I think you have a lot of untapped ill in you. Its obvious you take text lightly. __________________ Ahem. Last edited by e11even; 10-26-2013 at 03:30 AM.