Sharp Nine says I should vote, but I have to admit I haven't voted on a traditional battle in probably at least six years. With that said, I probably am more qualified than 90% of the Battle Arena voters, and picture-based battles don't rely on nearly as many played concepts and deep personals. You look at the picture, then laugh at the verse. So hopefully my explanation for my vote, which will be very detailed, makes some sense.
Vulgar: I love that you bring your Discussion board approach to roasting to picture battling. It inherently means you won't have played shit because you have such a strange-functioning mind. Specificity is the key to humor, but it's important to hit the nail on the head with specificity. For instance, the Ben Stein analogy was strong because he has the exact same nose and similar eyebrows, but Ben & Jerry's doesn't make Rocky Road (though they once had a limited-release flavor called "Rocky Road-ish," I learned via Google). That's the type of stuff I personally look for in a verse: Were the jokes accurate? That's made more difficult when you use such deep references, as you do in your verses.
It's never easy to read a Vulgar verse, and I actually commend you for bringing your own unique twist to the battle realm. You pack a lot of wordplay, and most people probably have no idea what you meant by "Carlton" (I'll let the spelling mistake go) if they even get "Paulson." Then you dip back immediately into a more simplistic but still effective concept, and I really liked the phrase "pink slip ringmaster circus elephant" as a description of ill nik-A, one both fitting and harsh.
I think you intentionally string out some of your lines to be super long, and I have to admit that I don't like it. The Adam Sandler/Madea/Anger Management concept was really nice, but it could have been at least seven or eight syllables shorter in execution. It didn't work the same way the strong and original rhymes and word choice did on the Chihuahua line. The Elion Gonzalez line didn't work because it just seemed like you used it to bring up Miami.
The relic of text line was another nice use of the dog. I didn't get the refrigerator line, but I'm pretty sure I understood everything else in your verse. But I don't think you really hit that hard. It's a picture match, but you missed the opportunity to dig into so many other aspects of his personality (or even the picture; where was the Ryan Tannehill line?) Still, I really enjoy your style. It's smart, which I can't say for most battlers. These were the standout lines:
Quote:
I'll take that target off ur wall & attach it to ya lard ass back using the electrical force from the Chihuahua's vision
You're a pink slip ringmaster circus elephant lookin queer type
Puffin your chest out so much on the site, it actually translated to real life
I been through hard winters.. you're far from all that, Skinner
Spent more years as a relic of text than that dog has whiskers
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ill nik-A: Opening with lines about the daughter was terrific. You went straight for the jugular in a way that I don't think Vulgar necessarily is hardwired to do. It was exactly what you needed to do to start this battle on a good foot because you probably weren't going to be able to trash talk roast-style on the same level as him.
I find your style to be a bit too derivative, in that you write like a lot of battlers. In fact, you write like a lot of battlers who aren't nearly as good as you. You need to improve your setups dramatically by making them more relevant and more sharply worded instead of forcing rhymes. Setups should be a place to deepen the picture about your opponent, but you put the onus on your punchlines. That means that your punchlines have to be sharp.
That's OK because your punchlines m ostly are sharp. "Baby fat" and "E. Honda" were excellent, and "Malaysia" was the best line of the battle. Some of the punchlines directly about Vulgar missed, though, particularly the one about the vein in his head. I don't really see it in the photo, in which he honestly looks relaxed aside from holding that enormous baby.
The fat jokes about the baby definitely were redundant, but you were helped by saving some of the better ones for later in the verse. Still, yuo're supposed to diss your opponent, and many of your creative punchlines didn't seem relevant to Vulgar himself. The "ear hair" line was the best direct punch about Vulgar. I understand why you did that because the photo really focuses on her, so I'm not going to hold it against you too hard, sort of like how Vulgar kept that monstrosity away from his chest to avoid lung puncturing.
Your creativity is impressive, but I think your delivery of those lines could use some works. Mostly, the punchlines were worded well themselves but had terrible transition lines. Here were my favorite quotes from your verse:
Quote:
It’s damning to say, ur daughter raises concern for at least her health
that’s not Baby fat… that’s enough to make all of Cash Money obese as hell
Fuck an overlap… Looks like little E. Honda would not fit in the backseat of a Civic
Its clear I’m older… but I’m here watching ur ear hairs literally come to light
If u deciphered this pic it’d be soldier went to Malaysia & brought back a souvenir
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Vote: ill nik-A
I'm not sure how I'll feel about this in the long run. This was sort of one of those boxing matches where one competitor throws a crazy number of jabs, as Vulgar packed every line with disses, while the other goes for occasional tight hooks and tries to hit the same spot over and over again. But ill nik-A's persistence on the fat baby jokes kind of won me over, and his verse was probably wittier, at least on its face, while Vulgar went too heavy on observations that maybe weren't worded well enough to be punchlines.