REVIEWS
Here I pulled out some battles from the past few months that I feel deserve some attention for being sick. If yours isn’t here, don’t take it personally and keep battling!
Boredom vs.
Shoryuken
This one surprised me tbh. Boredom came with a really quick keystyle and paid for it, shoryuken managing to get a few more hits in the voters eyes and taking it rather easily. This was relatively close, but I thought Shoryuken got it with his made a name for himself line.
Genocide vs. Pent up (S&F)
Doooooope stuff from two of the best active writers. Both of these verses were pure butter, full of slick rhymes and flow. Voters agreed that while the first half of Pent’s verse was the strongest shit of the battle, he started to fall off by the end while Genocide was able to maintain consistency throughout which was enough to take this battle.
Allen Knight vs. Ammo
This went pretty much how I would’ve expected. AK trounced some new cat who put up some sort of freestyle rap. Allen had two dope nameflips which did more than enough to get the KO. Hope to see more of him in the future, he’s very easily a contender for the BA battle belt.
Apex vs.
Knowp
Both of these guys were kinda off. Wording kind of held Knowp back, while Apex just struggled with concepts. Knowp wasn’t great but managed to edge it with a more textbook verse. Keep up guys.
Aero vs. Phuck Yew
This one happened in mid august and wasn't in the last mag, but it deserves a mention here. Aero, despite keying from his phone still dropped in his style, which is one of the least formulaic and still most effective in text. He didn't have any real misses, while Phuck just came with a bunch of flips on 'aer' which is done to death. Most voters agreed, and Aero was able to win 8-2.
Franco vs.
Meth
Meth had his usual BA style of a lazy keystyle with a few good ideas, while Franco had a bunch of flips on 'meth' which is done to death. Voting was close, but Meth managed to snag another win out of this one making him 4-0 in the BA.
Pretty much every other battle was voided, mostly due to lack of links. If you guys actually get links in, you’ll be sure to end up somewhere in the next mag but for now, nothing.
NO SHOW SHINE
Vulgar vs. Pancakebrah
You Sesame street watching prankster, givin the vibes of a monstrous geek
Talk is cheap, but u a star at least, w/ Jim Carrey's eyes & Phillip Seymour Hoffman's cheeks
You're in debt, forever Diode's younger brother, holdin an enamored syringe
And there's powder on your chin, since u eat more cocaine than u actually sniff
and ol' Fraternity Anne on your side doesn't seem to realize the hand she's been dealt
Holdin' her purse close. She'd wallet off if you came close to her chastity belt
You're a drama queen without a crown. A shy guy with Shiloh's face
You Big Bang Theory watchin' Billabong sandal wearin' albino ape (just die...oh wait)
David Lynch historian. LSAT's ain't for u, ya just a kid that's imitatin'
is this one of those 'preppy yearbook types' meets awkward weightlifter situations?
Watch Vulgatron fold this cast off, make this ogre's lats pop
They call you a Big Foot'ball fan... I'ma just go with Sasquatch
Most opponents laugh em off, but I just consider him a fuckin' disgrace
who rarely Clicks with Madison cuz all his Adam Sandler jokes get him punched in the face
You're ugly, misplaced, a Derby McDirt pervert in the burbs, & this is inertia with words
"THUMBS UP, it's LEGS day!" ...she's happy cause she knows you ain't referring to hers.
TOP PUNCHES
For the Fall
1.
Allen Knight vs. Ammo
The hos u get are hideous as fuck, check wat this lame started
Last bitch that amazon, look like she slitherd out the black lagoons of the rainforest
2.
Karaoke vs. Mael
I was co captain so I could tell you where every nigga in the ranks fits
Me & Murda Sho kept the Planes steady, all u did was offer extra pillows & blankets
3.
Mael vs. Karaoke
Got those predictable punches & the rest I'd mentions lame,
Drop the Hi & Bye shit; it's self-evident that all ya verses begin & end the same,
4.
Aero vs. Phuck Yew
Cindy or Mindy? I left both exhausted after passing the pipe
Phuck's options were exhausted too and it's another lonely Saturday night
5.
Shoryuken vs. Boredom
ya punches are generic, bore's just a pre-writing alias lover
didn't just make a name for 'emself winning that tourney ...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . he's made around 80 others
6.
Destroyer vs. Leowatts
u talk tough, and now I see why, cause u be lookin all scary
but I'm confused about ur gender since u rock an adam's strawberry
Battle of the Season
Karaoke vs. Mael
Karaoke
Your battle was with Phuck was weak so don't send any bars my way
Cuz you couldn't pay me to vote on that battle if it was posted on RIA
Yeah, we both repped The Planes but my new crew's official
If I use the pistol, it'll leave u with burns that would make Meth's look superficial
My chicks could make every head on your block turn
I got wild bitches, you get Wilde bitches too but they leave you with Cockburn
I was co captain so I could tell you where every nigga in the ranks fits
Me & Murda Sho kept the Planes steady, all u did was offer extra pillows & blankets
You're mid tier at best & after your last battle, there's no denying that I'm right
Especially, the way we saw u struggle to get rid of a Bra like a virgin on prom night
Mael
Seeing your Summer Classic flop made me laugh at first,
You dropped like the average Joe.. then Joe dropped ya with an average verse,
Got those predictable punches & the rest I'd mentions lame,
Drop the Hi & Bye shit; it's self-evident that all ya verses begin & end the same,
My game's workin' chicks when you're trying to perfect text,
While you voted for me over Cake, ya girl & I skipped str8 to the birthday sex,
Riding vets explains all of your wins on that shitty account,
Hush's lisp baffled at how you could mimic an oat's audio w/ 20 dicks in ya mouth,
Murda and him made "The Plane's" & gave me a crew spot,
Which mirrored how we saw Car -- getting smaller and fading as we took off.
Mael wins 4-1