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Old 10-21-2013, 02:00 PM   #13
Answer
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Tic, the fag line is kind of played, scott line was cool, but it seems like you kind of threw away the concept mid-bar for another one, bomb line was ehh...disconnect the dot concept was cool - but it was kind of forced. Your closer just kinda seemed fillerish to me

Name, I've seen similar tic tac lines used on him already, concept thing was kind of funny, but too simplistic, stop line was a good concept but could've been worded better, hoffa line would've been a little better if math actually missed, and just having the word "serious" in the line doesn't make it any better. Last line also seemed pretty fillerish to me



Honestly, this is kind of neck and neck. I felt like Tic made more of an effort to actually write legitimate punches with wordplay, but you had some played things and minor botches. Namesake was much cleaner, but in a couple lines overly simplistic. I think at the end of the day, I think the 'Pull out the Stops!' line might have been enough to barely, barely edge it to name. If tic executed the scot line better, I think it would've gone the other way

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