[patrown]

Adonis - very good storytelling here. advanced flawlessly, great layout.. good content, excellent rhymes. liked the sarcastic tone and rhyme here..
The submitted work of course, was – Truly terrific,
The big “C” on his letter men was purely prolific,
and..
Sara on the other hand, just a bit uncertain,
She'd be burdened with being round at the cap and gown sermon,

overall you touched on a tough situation to explore and came out smelling like daisies.
so, good approach. villainizing the women is appropriate since it was a surprise to the guy, but still a little controversial in my humble opinion. not that controversy is bad.. it's just an interesting take on a situation often told very differently. nice job.

Clutter Buck - started off a little slow, but came through in the end. i enjoyed these lines especially. great honesty and depth.

A beautiful homage to original thought
remove what’s unwanted and rid it of flaws.

all the rhymes after that point were very good, and there was a lot of quotable material.you did have a very low syllable count in places, i think there were areas to expand that couldn't have hurt. but you did take a simple topic and created a great explanation of artistic aspiration. i enjoyed the piece as a whole and cant find anything to criticize.

/v adonis - i simply enjoyed adonis' story a little more. if it wasn't executed as cleanly as it was, clutter buck would have easily taken this. two great pieces, good battle.