Vote.
Decent battle. First week, I see shit I like already. Zen lad you play the surface and you need to dig deeper a little. Give your material more substance and some of your ideas more thought. Do not think in run on sentence form. Stop and pause and evaluate. What should I say now to connect more with the main idea? can I create bridges , metaphors between a speeding train and the holocaust? I saw the word 'conjunction' but I wasn't convinced that was intentional. You may have hated my structure but I had one. Work on creating an arch in your pieces. Start them, segway them, finale them. Conclude them. Insync them. Do not just write to write. Actually try and fully portray something instead of going line to line with no real direction, like a speeding train into a foggy abyss. Slow down and try and make some sense of it all. Coup... Interesting way with words, first couple lines I thought were rather unique. Had a corky flair that was appealing to me. I thought it sounded like some raekwon shit. Thing with raekwon is he's skilled in the abstract sense, he can put words together that make cats sound stupid for having missed that. This was clear jibberish that didn't transend that barrier or make me second guess your intellect. In my mind, I am always progressing., so yes me doing my progession is highly intentional. Never get stuck saying nothing, keep it moving coherently. overall this is the first week so I don't know. I am not fully sold on either writer as of yet. See how they unfold. Vote - Zenland for his wild attempt at a holocaust train blurr.
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