[Frank]

topic:Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting.

cashius
30 years old, physician...bed side manner of Mother Teresa
Makes a mint, but down to earth...his closet full of nothing but sneakers
^mother teresa chewing mints is all i see when I look at this line. drastic fluctuation in ideas/imagery. the two just don't go together lol. makes a mint is some cool lingo though.
He's been practicing for 5 years. The top of his class at Stanford
Obviously quite the catch, but most women are not gonna pass his standards
But it was Wednesday during his rounds..he saw the lady sitting in bed
He can't remember why she was there, only how she made the linens look fresh
^nice visual
A gentle touch, prescription pad, then he moved to a light joke
The next week they were at a local bar talking music, movies, and life goals
Months of courting, meet the parents, a platinum link and a locket
A true gentleman...nothing up his sleeve, just a diamond ring in his pocket
^summary style, progressive flash of segments

She wanted a short engagement. No purpose waiting...this man is her dream
So, it's a wedding at the little church, brother's speech, his grandmother's ring
She wants to honeymoon far away...While he'd prefer to lay low
It was worth the cake though...Spent the whole month sunning in Turks and Caico's
She was a perfect homemaker. Cooking, cleaning, and sex...
He'd walk in the door, eat his dinner, and she'd let him beat it to death
^story telling in an orderly fashion
To him, she's the real mccoy...filled a void. Fuck this life alone
A budding career, over flowing bank account, a loving wife at home
He was at work when he got her call, and we'll leave it at this...
Their first year of marriage couldn't have been better...'til she peed on a stick

Re-do the will, increase the insurance, tell their family and friends
^the technique reminds me of ''rewind'' - same kind of flow
Start the name discussion...he was glad to contend for "Gabby" and "Trent"
The next week he's driving to work, there's sleet...better go slow
He hits his brakes, they've been cut, his life ends in a telephone pole
She gets the 911 call, takes a breath, gasps and tries to stutter
He's in the street bleeding and that lying slut is at home with wire cutters
Go figure...this gold digger made him die without a legacy
She saw his money, weaved her web, and lied about the pregnancy

Now, obviously that hoe is an insect...
With dough as an instinct, ended homie's existence
But at least he died happy, without knowing the difference
^powerful closing line. she was the black widow

all in all was a similar story to many you've told in this forum before. this style/cadence of yours is genuinely unique on the forums. it is the stoytelling in an orderly fashion.

Bags
I bus yo head trick!

I bus yo head!

I bus yo head trick!

I bus yo head!

Then im awake......an when im awake....

i feel like i left a dream to the chill of death....
^the foreword is signature bags. already shifted between 2 different worlds.

So i breathe for a milisec & see thru the silhouette
From a beastly gorillas neck, wen i squeeze in can u hit 10?
GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY DORIS.
^doris, the thing? heh
jesus, shes the reason for prilosec. If she was bulimic id be upset
^lol reason for prilosec
cuz then we couldnt see this unbelievable living wreck
treat the fridge like an achievable mission threat.
Thank you doris, i nod....and start to think as i breathe again.
I wish....
i just wish for one day
These heathens knew how i REALLY percieved them then.....
Maybe theyd see.....
^good lucid like reflection.
THEYRE SO FUCKING SELFISH.
I mean look at their means to a squeamish end
They act weak
But only cuz they think
that the meek will step up to recieve what the demons left
But to me?
their inner demons are equally evil an streaming from discontent
I see the false allegiance begin to weaken from being so indirect
An with that fleeting beacon...
Just breathe....
Let me reflect.
FUCK THOSE COWARDS.
^lulz
everytime i dream im in full effect....if i wake from my sleep?
Then i cheated death.
If im able to beathe? Then im living less
But dont u see?
What they see....
Is worth nothing ......if u cant see what they see the best.
DORIS DID U HIT TEN! ??!
^the style of in which the question marks and exclamation marks are set up it leads me to believe the writer isn't sure if he's dreaming or not.
Ingenious!
Now i can see it,
We're so alike
^doris is your world, digustingly hideous as she may very well be, she is still your world - you wish she wasn't face it that whale is your future.
Our agreements r a bill of debt, i kno it seems egregious .....
^egregious? not sure what the means but sure sound like some trailer trash shit is going down
Still i bet
If u bolt down our reason w/ a philips head
u could watch what u speak an see we're Bill and Ted.
^you wish you could have the same relationship with her you have with lil nigga
Excellent.
What a brilliant blend
A wish is worthless if u get to see it redeemed
Cuz then the search just ends
Hope is gone.
So what will we see when the earth is dead?
I plan to just sleep
where i can be free
and reach perfectness.
GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY DORIS!!!!
^you are trying to find your happy place
but i dont say it.....
i would never....
I simply thank the bitch.....
Throw on sum gangsta shit
and head to my dreams to be at peace so i can feel again.....

I bus yo head trick!

I bus yo head!

I bus yo head trick!

I bus yo head!

^Not sure how to interpret this other than your world awaiting you in your dreams - where sometimes nightmares like doris happen and you really wish you were dreaming - but were you? was it? although this is written in child like scribble it has a subtle depth to it. a sort of sleepwriting

this battle was your finals, but it read like a week3 battle. just goes to show the AOWL is where you really find out who the best really is. both writers did their thing, the better written piece is cashius - hands down. up until the end of cashius verse he was on the money with his descriptions - towards the end it doesn't quite come together as I would've liked. bags interpretation of the quote is the real x factor here. littered with half awake segments that make you question reality? at the end of the day,

mvgt bags