Very simple pieces from both sides here. Symetrik, welcome to the league. You told a very basic story of two people who were in love and one (the woman) apparently ends up dying from an overdose at the end. I wasn't totally impressed because your story could have used some creativity and stronger diction. I will say the ending has an emotional touch to it, a very sad visual there but that was really the only part that really caught my attention. You could have added a bit more to this to explain why she was overdosing- the story just felt too sudden in events. Breathless, you too told an almost similar story, but in a much different way and what I feel, a tad more rounded than your opponent. Your style of writing is a bit unique and it's a good/bad thing, bad being that it throws off the flow when reading but good because it's different. I liked the fact that your story jumped right in the middle of an event with the woman running out in traffic without thought and getting hit, diving right into it and then I liked the transition, sort of a rewind feel to how that incident came to be as you ended your story. As with your opponent, I felt you could have done more with a lengthier drop, but it works to your favor this time around.
While I did like symetrik's ending a whole lot which rounded up the topic, I felt there was much more that could've been done to better the story, which seemed to just move sharply towards the end. More development of the woman and her overdose problem could have helped as also a bit more creativity with words to bring out the piece more. I felt breathless managed to do a lot more with the little he put together and I liked the immediate action in the beginning and the transition to why that happened at the end, also topping of a pretty solid story.
MVGT: breathless. Good job by both competitors.
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